The Center Of Everything
by solitudeseeker
Summary: One shot, short fic. The taste of love, the smell of flowers, and the feel of the warm summer rain pouring down on us. A final lesson learned. (Complete)


Summary- One shot, short fic. The taste of love, the smell of flowers, and the feel of the warm summer rain pouring down on us. A final lesson learned. (Complete)  
  
Title- the Center of Everything  
  
Authors prelude- another Landon/Jamie story (now don't all start clapping at once) this time they are actually married and it has ZILCH! ZERO! To do with 'The Rules Of reputation' (but if you haven't read it you should totally check it out.)  
  
Author- solitudeseeker (previously known as IcAnCu)  
  
The center of everything, the bane of my existence, the world that I revolve around and my best friend. I am only eighteen but love and sickness has made me mature, way beyond my years and perhaps beyond even my own husbands years, to where I can see myself alone but together. I know it will be soon, I keep telling myself, despite his constant persuasions that it won't be.  
  
As I lie here, the cool summer rain playing beats on the window pane along with the rhythm of Landon's heart though my pale, thin skinned back. Some might say I looked emaciated which wouldn't be too far from the truth, the food that I have been consuming has been lack of this past few weeks.  
  
A sudden lurch at my stomach makes me spring up and steady myself; Landon's arm that was once wrapped around my waist now hangs loosely off the side of the bed. I calm myself down and move to the mirror, the reflection of myself makes me jump back. I walk back over to the bed and curled under the covers for second before shaking Landon softly, pulling him out of a dreamless sleep.  
  
"What is it baby?" he asked, stroking my face lightly.  
  
"Let's go," I whispered, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of bed. He stumbled along behind me, asking me where we were going continuously. He trusted me though, so I knew he would follow.  
  
I opened the screen door and walked out to the yard, the rain feeling exactly as I had thought it wood from inside. I ran over to the middle of the yard and to the telescope that we had set up to look through.  
  
"You know the rain clouds block out the stars?" Landon reminded me, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around me.  
  
"I know but I can still look for breaks in the clouds," I said, leaning over and looking into the little eye hole. I knew if it was time to go tonight the first star of summer would shine. I looked over the sky carefully, scanning the area. I sighed with relief and turned around, Landon still peering down on me.  
  
"Let's sit down," I motioned as I sat down on the wet lawn, sprinkled with summer's dew.  
  
"Ok I guess, but its getting cold out here so I am going to go and get my robe." He said, motioning to his boxers and loose white tee shirt before retreating toward the house. I had to dress warm, clad in long pants and a Beaufort High School long sleeved tee shirt. I hugged my arms close to my body and said a mental prayer, just one more night. Just another hour, so I could tell Landon... goodbye.  
  
He came back a few moments later, a thermos and blanket in hand.  
  
"Not two?" I asked, recalling the night we spent in the cemetery.  
  
"I believe now," he said as I stood up and then sat back down on the clean blanket. "I am aloud to seduce you," he added, giving me a grin through his tired eyes and the worry lines that had sprouted up around his young face.  
  
"Is that so?" I joked, wishing we could be doing this at a later time, when we were forty with little Carter kids running around the house. That will be someone else though. I didn't want to think about that now, didn't need to think about that.  
  
"That's so," he leaned in and kissed me, leaving me with a slight taste of passion and a whirl of dizziness. I laid down on the blanket and looked up to the sky, the many colours of the late night/ early morning sky swirling into one. I could feel the rain soak through my clothes and Landon's heavy breathing beside me. I turned over and faced Landon, his eyes on me as usual, as though he was watching my every move with constant praise, concern and bittersweet remorse because I wouldn't be here much longer.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" he asked me suddenly.  
  
"You, and how hard it is sometimes," I replied, my eyes flooding up with tears.  
  
"Jamie it has all been worth it to me, and I know you will be up there watching over me always. I hate that you can't stay but I sort of understand why God would want you though, you are smart, beautiful an angel in your own way. You are the center of everything for me and always will be," he said, his eyes were as tired up as mine now.  
  
I nodded my head softly, sitting up a little bit, to grab a flower that was near us. I lifted it up to my face and took a deep breath, engulfing it in my senses and holding on to it.  
  
"Why?" he asked, finally.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked, moving the flower over to expose my face again.  
  
"I mean a flower, you just lose yourself in something so-"he stopped.  
  
"Complex, magical, beautiful?" I supplied. "The little things in life can bring you the most joy." I added.  
  
"I don't want joy if you aren't here Jamie." He said simply.  
  
"Landon! I am not the end of your life, I am the end of an old chapter and you can begin a new one whenever you want." I replied, a piece of my heart going out to him.  
  
"I wish..." he started but stopped. He didn't have to say, I knew, but I also knew it wasn't going to happen.  
  
"What do you think is the meaning of inner peace?" I asked.  
  
"Being ok with yourself and your surroundings I guess," he replied giving me his typical I guess at the end.  
  
"Don't guess Landon, know." I said.  
  
"Well I don't," he replied.  
  
"Yea I don't suppose anyone really knows." I added, giving him a small grin.  
  
"Mhmm," he muttered, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me closer to him. I buried my head next to him and sighed softly, wishing it weren't true. That all I was feeling was some joke.  
  
"Something's wrong with you," he finally said, scooting over and forcing me to look at him. I have never had the gift of lying eyes.  
  
"I... I know I am going to die tonight or today, I feel it. God is telling me, so I have time to say goodbye." I replied, biting the bottom of my lip so hard I tasted blood.  
  
"No Jamie, No you don't." he replied, blinking back a new set of tears.  
  
"I'm sorry Landon," I said simply, half shrugging my shoulders.  
  
He hugged me against him, hard, rubbing my back softly. I let the tears go and I could feel him shaking slightly too. It was all over, or would be, our dreams and our life outside of this.  
  
He lifted my chin up and my eyes met his once again and he gave me a heart stopping kiss. I felt myself falling, deeper by each second, and when it was all over. I was over, my last few breaths; my last few moments of life were taken in that kiss. The look of the first bright star of summer shone upon us and the last thing I heard was the sound of the summer rain beating against us and Landon's husky voice whispering "Center Of everything."  
  
Author's note-  
  
My first sad AW2R fic. NO FLAMES but Please review/ constructive criticize and tell me what you think :)  
  
Solitudeseeker 


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